What would you do if you came home from work one day and your spouse, the love of your life, your significant other, tells you “ I’m no longer in love with you anymore and I want a divorce. WOW…. you didn’t see that one coming, did you? Well this scenario happens more often than you may think. I mean, considering that the divorce rate in this country is at a whopping 50% and to hear some people talk, marriage is a dying institution. Do not believe that because it is not.
But think about it…..as you look back what was the behavior you may have noticed being demonstrated by your spouse but you did not think much of it? What kind of signs did they give now that you think about it? Should you have noticed that your spouse was spending less and less time with you? Or maybe it has come to your attention you and your partner have had very little to say to each other when you are in each other’s presence. Now since you are adding two and two together is it starting to come to you when intimacy in your marriage started to become less frequent and to the point intimacy was non-existent? What about the arguments the two of you had over and over and over again over petty little things.
These are just some of the signs that maybe your marriage is failing you. Whatever the reason you must be able to take notice of certain situations and behaviors and possibly start analyzing what you see. My mother-in-law would say it best “Don’t be nobody’s fool”. Which to me means you see something, you say something period! Follow your heart and use your intuition as a guide.
Now that your head is spinning from the bad news you received. Who do you talk to and trust in this situation? You have to talk to somebody a relative, a friend what about a co-worker. I’m not here to tell you who to talk too, but I will say this; if you go to friends, relatives or co-workers if the person you are confiding in is single or is not in a relationship or in a bad relationship as much as they try the advice you receive may not be good advice for you. As a matter of fact if the person you talk to about your marriage is not in a relationship or is unhappy about their situation. That is pretty much the type of advice you will get from them, single unhappy advice from that person. So you may need to talk to someone who is in a relationship or marriage and has a similar lifestyle as you as well a positive outlook on life.
OK....you have a choice to make either you will fight for your spouse and family or you give your partner what they asked for which is divorce. You may have to face the facts that your spouse may not want to reconcile with you. And if that is the case you need to protect yourself and if children are involve, the children. You will need to hold on to your sanity and don’t worry about your soon to be your ex. I realize your heart is cut deep but the hard part is about to begin. You may need to remove yourself from the relationship in order to hold on to your self-esteem and sanity. If that means you leave or they leave it does not matter, just do it. The only thing that is going to get you through these hard times IS TIME.
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